More quotes from the year 3000 (paraphrased into modern lingo)

- Can you imagine what it must've been like, to see someone sneeze?

- Can you imagine having to TYPE WORDS on a SCREEN in order to search for information?

- Heck. How about having to CONDUCT a search?

- To think, people had to go to DOCTORS for their health needs ... and take pills by mouth! Or receive injections with METAL NEEDLES! How archaic! I couldn't have survived in such a backwards era!

- What's "worship" mean?

- Ideologies? Bah! If those idiots back then knew about [CENSORED -- TVA] and their discovery of [CENSORED -- TVA], their lives would've been so much more informed and meaningful.

- Another time traveler? Yawn. I'm soooooo sick of their adventures ... nobody cares about how they saved the timeline or visited other dimensions. I wish they would just get lost.

- Time. What a limiting concept. So glad we see reality for what it is, a [CENSORED -- TVA].

New Evidence Proves the Existence of Wonder Woman

News From the Year 3000


"We were thrilled to find the magnetic tape evidence that proves, without a shadow of a doubt, that Wonder Woman existed in real life," stated Clayface Kirby, archeologist who made the discovery in the ancient city of the Angels.

The magnetic tape, when played on an ancient machine, shows a living, breathing Wonder Woman -- deflecting bullets and twirling a magic lasso.

Archeologists have been sent to the Amazon coast to search for the remains of Paradise Island.

Clergymen around the world praised the finding.

"As the prophet Perez showed us in Wonder Woman # 1, she is truly a dynamic, heroic female ... truly worthy of our worship," stated Monitor Riggs, spiritual leader of the Green Lantern Church. "We look forward to the day that she returns, along with the rest of the Justice League Gods."

The magnetic tape joins celluloid and still frame evidence of the existence of the Super-man, the Bat-man, the Red Robin, and the Flash. This along with the thousands of picture books that show ancient paper paintings depicting the heroes of yesteryear in action, and experts are almost certain that superheroes did exist before the Last War.

From a Universe History class....

Quotes from the year 3000, concerning the year 2000, from a Universe History class at the University of Northern Mars:

"Rocket fuel? Man, they could barely get off the planet back then! What were they thinking?"

"Why would you use something combustible to power your vehicle?"

"Can you believe they STILL ate fried foods back then?"

"The DailySkew was the only GOOD thing to come out of the first-half of the 21st century. Too bad the site crashed in 2536."

"To think, with all their intelligence and technology, so many millions worshipped beings that never existed. They may as well have been praying to Zeus, or Santa Claus."

"Professor, could you explain the concept of 'war' again? I'm very confused."

"You mean that people were still stuck in their personality type back then? Geez. Who would want to live like that?"

"With all the visual arts, you would think sight was the only sense they used back then."